SUPER Gant!
by Mentality at its Worst
Summary: Look, in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's beside the plane and shooting the bird with his laser eyes! It's SUPER GANT! Oh, what will the folks of LA do now that Gant not only has his own fic, but superhuman powers?
1. That's NOT Yogi Bear

I kid you not, I woke up this morning and **this** came to my head.  
This fic will get...disturbing at some points. I'll keep everyone relatively in-character, though I may let some things slip ;)  
Rated for later chapters...interesting chapters.  
Not Wright/Edgeworth (yuck).  
Are there any pairings? Of course, but I'm not telling them to you, my pets.

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**SUPER Gant! - Chapter 1 - "That's NOT Yogi Bear"**

The day started like any other.

Or maybe it did not. Who would have been able to tell on such a sunny, cloudless day, in the middle of the hot July sun? Besides, no one was at work today—it was Saturday! And as such, on a lovely Saturday afternoon, a very typical nuclear family (those still exist?) wandered into a park for a peaceful picnic lunch. Barely waiting to be able to munch down on the yummy sandwiches, salads, and treats that their mother had packed away in the wooden-woven basket, the young brother and sister skipped ahead of their parents and explored random berry bushes and chased squirrels…because chasing squirrels was the cool thing to do when you were like, ten years old.

"Momma, momma, there's a spot right up there on that hill!" the little boy excitedly called back to his parents, pointing to an open spot on a very green and grassy mound of earth, the sun shining on it as though it came from the heavens. Mother, however, simply shook her head and waved her hand dismissively.

"Oh dear, we cannot sit up there, my children. It is so hot, you may burn—here, let us set up our blanket and snacks in the shade provided by our friendly trees," the mother's sweet voice answered, and as she elegantly waved her hand the area she directed the children in seemed to look way better…things always looked better when mothers pointed them out like that.

Mother neatly unfolded the blanket and set it on the grass while the children and father quickly and helpfully began to unload the contents of the basket; of course, mother had to be the one to organize said contents. She instructed the rest of the family to wash up while she began setting out small plates and plastic utensils for their delicious lunch; the father and his two children obeyed and the three of them ran off in search of the water fountain.

Standing in the middle of the cracked, cement path, the lonely stone fountain stood and patiently waited for attention from thirsty travellers or, in this case, dirty hands. The three family members gathered around it and began to splash the cool, clear liquid on their faces and hands, scrubbing and rubbing whatever dirt particles they could get off without the aid of soap.

It was then that they stood, frozen, when observing a sudden flash of emerald green light, which temporarily filled the sky and the entire park—it originated from where their picnic was to be held. They were embraced by panic as they bolted for the picnic area, the children screaming, "Mommy, mommy!" and the father screaming, "Clara!" which would be embarrassing for him later for his wife's name was really "Jane."

Pushing through trees and bushes in a desperate attempt to reach their family member, they found their way back to the blanket to find that mother appeared to be safe, however horror-stricken. She shook madly and the father fell to his knees to hold her and comfort her, rocking back and forth, while the children sat close to her with tears forming in their eyes. "What happened, what happened?!" they all cried at the same time.

"He…he…he came so fast! I could barely see him!" mother stammered and the family's eyes grew wide.

"Who? Who?!" demanded father. Mother pointed at the half-empty picnic basket with a shaky finger.

"I don't know…but he…he was flying, he _flew_! He flew by so fast, and took our lunch!"

Gasps filled the air, and the afternoon was temporarily ruined for one family as they quickly gathered their things and loaded it back into the car, heading straight for the police department to report this strange happening.

And meanwhile, high up in a tree observing the scene, Damon Gant scarfed down a turkey sandwich he had just acquired.

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End of first chapter. Short...but amusing? Oh, but don't go too far away, the adventure is only just beginning!  
By the way, I like reviews :) Reviews are good whether you liked the fic or not. Please leave a review as it gives me a reason to think that you actually have a purpose in life(I'm joking, geez, quit crying). 


	2. The Train's Been Derailed!

Sorry for taking so long with the update, guys. I'm on winter holidays and though I've been productive, I've also been very lazy.  
I've also been oddly depressed. Self-loathing issues. Anyway...

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**Chapter 2 - "The Train's Been Derailed!"**

"That's outrageous!" cried one officer.

"That's crazy!" cried another.

"That's preposterous!" cried a third.

"That's what's in my hand, boys, haha!" laughed a fourth officer as he spread the cards across the desk to reveal a royal flush. They all groaned and cursed and could already hear their angry wives while the officer gathered his winnings in his hat. They were interrupted by a rather loud and rude cough, and they all turned to face the now-outraged family…how long had they been there, now?

"Officer, please! Could you get back to this case? We _really_ need to go home!" exasperation could be sensed in the father's pleading voice. One of the officers gave him a haughty look and started tucking the blue-backed cards away in one of the desk drawers.

"I told you, sir," the officer said coolly, "we here at the department are very busy, now if you can't have some patience…"

"Officer, we've watched you play two whole games already…" the father groaned and started massaging his temples. The police officer rolled his eyes at him.

"I find it hard to believe that a man just flew in at the speed of light to steal a sandwich and a bowl full of potato salad." The officer then turned to the mother and eyed her suspiciously. "You haven't been under the influence of anything lately, ma'am?"

Much to his surprise, the father suddenly gave the police officer a hard shove and said in a most threatening way, "Don't talk to my wife like that!" They glared at each other, and the officer opened his mouth to give the man in front of him a what-for when the front doors burst open and a little old lady wearing a tattered, pink, flowery hat, a woollen shawl, and frazzled white hair came running in. She waved her dark, wooden cane about in a wild frenzy as she shrieked throughout the building.

"A man!! A man just derailed a train!" her white face was wide with terror as she screamed. A couple of officers ran toward her and tried to coax her to sit down, hoping she would not cause herself a heart attack from all the panicking.

"Ma'am, ma'am, please calm down…calm down, what happened? Did you see the vehicle collide with the train?" asked one of the officers. The old woman gave him an incredulous look before pegging him in the side of the head with the rounded part of her cane.

"There weren't no vehicles that collided with nothing, boy! I saw him! I saw him do it! There was a flash of green, and then there was this man, clear as day, standing on the tracks there and when that train came-a-comin', he reached his massive hands out and _picked it up_! Threw it onto the road and caused a big ol' traffic jam," she harped; the officers looked at each other with wide eyes, and then back to the family. It was then that the father from the family grabbed his wife and pulled her down to lean by the old woman.

"Who was he, ma'am? What did he look like?!" the father cried and turned to his wife, who shook again as the old woman recapped her tale.

"I don't know who he was, and I don't care. Crazy spectacles, twirl of white hair in the front—looked mighty goofy in that enormous orange suit of his; was about this tall, too!" and the old lady leaped to her feet and stood as tall as she could to show the police how tall this suspicious super-human being was.

The officers around all looked at each other, and, as though they could read each others' thoughts, spread out to gather teams to get this strange phenomenon checked out…and stopped!

Meanwhile, off in the distance on the outskirts of downtown, backed up in traffic already half a mile long (it _was_ rush hour, after all) and not enjoying one second of it, was Miles Edgeworth, already fifteen minutes late for work.

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And Mr. Edgeworth now makes an appearance!

Seriously, that's all I've got to say for any author notes this time.


	3. EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!

AHAHA!! Oh gosh, oh gosh...guys, guys, you gotta listen to this--I forgot I even had this story in the works. This chapter was supposed to be posted AGES ago. Sorry about that, oh my gosh.

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**Chapter 3 - "EVERYBODY IN THE POOL!!"**

"Nick, are you seeing this?!"

"I probably would if you'd back away from the television."

With a huff and a slight giggle, Maya jumped away from the television while Phoenix parked himself at his desk, coffee mug in hand. He had thought that maybe _this_ time he could finally take a sip without Maya jumping on him or yelling at him about something, or…anything that involved interaction between the two of them, whether verbal or not—she had that _power_ to spill boiling coffee (on people) without ever needing to touch it.

He was about to ask Maya to fill him in on what was going on when the screen clearly showed it itself—there was a crashing sound, and then before his eyes a wave of water washed out an entire street in the city. People screamed and drowned, cars were washed into buildings and crushed people and animals, trees were cruelly ripped from the sweet earth, and a baby was heard crying in the background. Above all this, a man was shining in the sunlight, high above the scene where a water tower once was. As Phoenix began to take in the oh-too-familiar details of the man's physical appearance, his jaw dropped, as did the coffee. Again.

"_EVERYBODY IN THE __**POOL!!**_" the man, Gant, bellowed on the television screen, before zipping off in another shot of green light. Phoenix and Maya looked each other and an instant communication was had—he could already see the ecstatic look in her eye, and she saw the disbelief in his.

"We're **not** going!" Phoenix yelled at the same time Maya chimed, "NICK, we gotta check that out!"

After twenty "rock, paper, scissors" matches (poor Phoenix, always picks scissors…), and randomly uncalled for "your momma" wars, Phoenix and Maya were out on the street corner trying to flag down a taxi. They would worry about money later, as Phoenix totally forgot his wallet in the office, a fact that he would soon have to face but we just won't tell him right now, hur hur hur.

In the meantime, the police were _stunned_ by the sight before them. Like, fireworks were cool, but when they were in the middle of the _day_, that was something special! After shaking themselves back to their senses (how dare they get so easily distracted!), one of the officers grabbed a megaphone and tried to reason with Damon Gant.

"Hey, Chief? We guys back at the station and…everywhere are kinda wondering when you're going to…you know, stop destroying the city," he hesitantly looked at his colleagues before turning back up to Gant, who had not responded at all, but stared down at the little megaphone man as he continued, "'Cause…you know, if you keep doing that, we're going to have to like…shoot you. Or arrest you. Or both."

And high up in the air, Gant laughed. He howled with laughter, and so hard that the ground beneath him shook in a violent earthquake. People far below cried and screamed again, and Phoenix and Maya's taxi almost hit an ice cream truck as they got closer to the scene; it did, however, smash headfirst into a pillow truck. After quickly checking over themselves to make sure that they only received minor bruises and cuts, Phoenix reached into his pocket and suddenly let out a sigh of relief. Maya could not help but raise an eyebrow.

"What was _that_?" she asked, and Phoenix just grinned.

"_Well_, it just so happens that the taxi driver fell unconscious, which works because my wallet…"

He was cut off by an explosion that occurred only a few blocks away, then, and the both of them jumped when they heard the familiar earth-quaking laughter of Damon Gant yet again while he announced, "You can't arrest me—I SIGN YOUR PAYCHEQUES!"

And somewhere in the middle of the ground-shaking traffic, Miles Edgeworth's eyes grew wide in fear.

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But seriously? Sorry about that. I completely forgot. Anyone reading that pirates story of mine I'm sorry to, too, but that one is only because I've just been busy busy BUSY with fulltime school/work (yeah, I don't know how I'm alive, either), moving, and boyfriend/friends. Argh, I hate being twenty years old.

Enough excuses. On to more writing!


	4. Shunned

Look, I feel so bad that I got another chapter ready right away. I told you guys I was sorry!

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**Chapter 4 - "Shunned"**

And now is about the time where the reader asks, "Why is this still up?"

And the author replies with something like, "They keep taking it down but I keep putting it back up, that's why."

We then enter the actual story and find that Phoenix and Maya carefully climbed out of the crushed taxi, amidst all the earth-quaking chaos, and found the police trying to cut a few deals with Gant.

"Sir…" one of the officers coaxed, "if you come back down to the station with us, we'll uh…buy you ice cream!" His colleagues looked perturbed, but in this day and age, everyone loved ice cream. Gant was actually silent for a minute or so before he lowered himself back to the newly washed ground, looking at the officer with a considering look. Before the officer could continue, Gant blew breath of icy air at him, freezing him solid where he stood. The other police officers backed up away from Gant, hoping they would not be next.

"Sorry, I like popsicles better," Gant smiled, and, out of the corner of his eye did he catch the glimpse of a familiar head of black, spiked hair. Phoenix froze as Gant's eyes grew wide, enthused, and Phoenix swore they had started glowing a gold colour. With big, cement-shattering steps, Gant walked towards Phoenix and Maya.

"_Wrighto_, my boy…how have you been?" as Gant stepped closer, Phoenix backed himself back towards the crashed taxi. Gant twisted his smile a bit more playfully. "You're quiet; that makes me worry."

"I-I'm not quiet. It's just…really good to see you?" Phoenix heard his own voice crack as he answered. Gant let out a loud "HA" before he continued.

"Wrighto, you're a poor liar. Come on, you can tell me anything—I thought we were friends, after all."

Phoenix thought about what to say to this. He never remembered them being 'friends' at all, though obviously he could not lie to him, either. He slowly opened his mouth to answer, still trying to think of a clever response, "Well, I…"

Gant then held his hand up at Phoenix to silence him. "HUSH. Hold that thought, Wrighto—HEY, BEAUTIFUL, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!" And again, with a flash of green, Damon Gant sped off through the streets, a tidal wave of cars flying on both sides of the road.

Phoenix's eyes grew wide and he stood, shaky, and absolutely stunned. Even Maya was quiet as they surveyed the destruction around them.

"Nick…what _was_ that…?!"

Across town, having ran into each other at the supermarket, the judge and Lana Skye were just leaving from their grocery shopping. Both were rather happy with their purchases—Lana was going to go home and try out the new pasta dish she had brainstormed, and the judge was anxiously waiting to dig into the ooey gooey chewy peanut butter bars he bought. Lana was surprised he still had teeth.

Suddenly, there was a loud bang and the ground before them exploded in a green light as Damon Gant posed like he was in an action movie…and he probably was…in his mind. Lana's heart raced as he looked toward her, a malicious grin on his face.

"G-Gant…I thought you were…" she tried to remain calm while he took slow, cool steps in her direction, his grin widening as he did so. He chuckled a bit as his eyes seemed to bore into her, and he said, "Hey, Gorgeous. You feel like a ride?"

Lana dropped the bags she was carrying, and she readied her fist to attack Gant. He was faster though, shooting his arm passed her, grabbing the judge and flinging him over his shoulder before turning around and blasting back off into the sky, laughing maniacally as he did so.

Lana stared up at the sky in disbelief, quite honestly unsure if she should have felt relieved or insulted at that point in time.

And back in the slowly progressing traffic jam, Miles Edgeworth face-palmed because he had just remembered that it was really Saturday and he had no work on Saturday.

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If you guys are actually wondering, no, my story has not been taken down at all. I was just being a jerk.


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